What is stress?
For you to best manage expat stress and to apply relevant strategies to find solutions to move beyond, it's important to understand how stress manifests and affects our bodies and sense of overall wellbeing.
Short-term stress serves a crucial function in enabling us to promptly react, respond, and behave effectively in critical situations. Conversely, prolonged stress can have adverse effects on our well-being, potentially resulting in severe illnesses and mental health disorders. Stress is not an illness per se, but rather a reaction triggered by an overwhelming imbalance between an individual's perceived and/or actual capabilities and the demands placed upon them.
Overload can manifest in various facets of life, commonly observed in relationships, work environments, and educational contexts. Expatriates, in particular, face a multitude of additional challenges that may not have been present or felt as daunting in their country of origin.
What additional challenges do expatriates encounter?
Here are a few examples of aspects that can cause long-term stress in expat life, each presenting its own set of significant obstacles:
Adapting physically, socially, and emotionally to a foreign and often unfamiliar culture, language, school, and work environment is a multifaceted process.
It involves practical tasks such as setting up a bank account and finding accommodation. While these initial steps may be tedious and time-consuming during the so-called "honeymoon phase", they often become interesting anecdotes in the future. However, once established, the lack of understanding of the system and uncertainty about where to seek help can lead to significant stress during crises such as marital issues, challenges with children, illness, bereavement, financial difficulties, and more.
The cost of living
Discontentment, racism, and xenophobia among the local population
Striking a balance between family life and maintaining relationships with loved ones in the home country while living as an expatriate
Language challenges
Identity crises
Expatriates often face obstacles in accessing education, job opportunities, career advancements, social services, and healthcare.
Lastly, the expatriate spouse frequently encounters a sense of disempowerment and a lack of personal agency in their own life. Click here to learn more about these challenges.
What are the symptoms of stress?
Stress can gradually build up over time, making it challenging for individuals to recognise the symptoms they may be experiencing. The condition can present itself through physical changes in the body and alterations in behavior. Provided below is a compilation of common signs frequently observed in expatriates who are grappling with stress.
Experiencing a general sense of overwhelm
Procrastination and difficulty in completing daily tasks
Fluctuating moods
Increased conflict or decreased communication with the partner and within the family
Forgetfulness and challenges in maintaining focus
Feelings of hopelessness and helplessness
Sense of disengagement and lack of joy
Elevated levels of worry and nervousness
Disruptive sleeping patterns or excessive sleep
Changes in appetite and exercise routine
Rise in blood pressure
Alterations in conditions such as diabetes and asthma
Symptoms of depression and anxiety (click this link for more information)
What are the implications of stress?
Extended periods of stress can impact our ability to transition between the sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous systems. While the sympathetic system is designed to alert us to potential threats, prepare our bodies for action, and enhance our performance and chances of survival, the parasympathetic system is responsible for regulating our relaxation and digestion processes.
Our bodies are naturally equipped to switch between these two systems, tolerating occasional surges of adrenaline and cortisol to boost alertness and productivity.
However, chronic stress can disrupt this balance by causing the sympathetic system to perpetuate its own activation through increased stress hormone secretion. This cycle creates a self-reinforcing pattern that hinders relaxation and digestion, placing significant strain on our overall well-being. Prolonged stress may lead to serious health conditions such as heart disease, headaches, and accelerated aging.
How to avoid stress in expat life?
Knowing all too well that we can't always avoid stress and stressors, below are a few key points to prioritise, not just in expat life:
Keep a good diet
Stick to a regular exercise routine that you enjoy
Get plenty of fresh air - and daylight
Avoid excessive amounts of alcohol, caffeine, and other stimulants
Keep a regular sleep routine
Make sure to build in regular breaks throughout your day
Be realistic in your planning - often being too time optimistic causes stress, and things become less enjoyable
And speaking of enjoyable - add things to your schedule that bring you joy.
Explore your area and fill your time with adventure - remind yourself why you went abroad in the first place.
Socialise - and if you haven't made friends abroad just yet, get cracking whilst maintaining contact with your people back home
Focus on what you have achieved rather than what you haven't.
If stressed at work, speak with your manager - they are there to help you.
Accept that you might need help from a professional.
How to deal with stress in expat life?
And if you are already stressed, with the risk of adding to the pressure, keep focusing on the above whilst also being mindful that if you or someone in your life has passed their stress treshold, the below can be helpful when dealing with stress in expat life:
Overview! It is advisable to compile a daily task overview, considering the option of focusing on shorter time frames such as half a day, an hour, or even less. Establishing consistent routines, like dedicating specific times for tasks such as responding to e-mails at certain times in the morning and afternoon, can be beneficial in effectively organising your schedule.
Prioritise! It is essential to prioritise your tasks based on the goals you aim to accomplish. Not everything at work or related to establishing an expat life needs to be addressed immediately.
Plan! Develop a detailed plan outlining your objectives and timelines. Avoid overestimating timeframes, as tasks frequently require more time than initially expected.
Focus on completing one task at a time.
Take breaks! It is important to take breaks regularly, especially between different tasks. A break should not involve scrolling on your phone; instead, consider stepping outside for fresh air, engaging in casual conversation with a colleague or friend, or simply taking a few moments to relax and clear your mind. Our brains benefit from moments of rest and inactivity, as stress often arises from excessive demands and overwhelm.
Meditate! For some, meditation can be helpful - for others, it's more basic exercises like orienting that helps create more space in the nervous system.
Boundaries! Discover how to effectively recognise, establish, and uphold your boundaries with compassion and sincerity.
Healthy lifestyle! It is important to prioritise maintaining a healthy diet, engaging in regular exercise, enjoying recreational activities, connecting with family and friends (even if only through online means), and participating in activities that bring joy. These aspects of self-care are often neglected during times of stress, yet they should be considered essential components of our daily routines, regardless of our circumstances.
If you are close to someone suffering from stress, you can help by:
Assist them in developing an awareness of their stress levels through gentle and repeated guidance, particularly by highlighting any observable changes in their behavior. It is important to recognise that they may not readily perceive these changes on their own. Should they exhibit defensiveness, understand that this response is likely a protective mechanism rather than a reflection of their feelings towards you. Individuals may interpret your efforts to address their stress as an additional burden, as they are already striving diligently to manage various challenges. Always, come from a caring place and enquire how you can help them. Let them know that you are on their side.
If they are receptive, assist them with the above steps. If you have additional capacity, enquire whether you can relieve them of some tasks.
Always keep in mind that their mood fluctuations, lack of interest in you and the family, poor memory etc. aren't a reflection of their commitment, feelings, and emotions towards you. The stress they are experiencing may lead them to react to a inaccurately, perceived threat, without their conscious awareness of the underlying cause. Have gentle and caring conversations with them about how they are behaving and how it's affecting you, the family, etc.
Be mindful of your own self-care; to support someone with stress, it's key to maintain good mental health yourself.
Professional help! If none of the above works, or you find yourself so overwhelmed that you can't apply these to your everyday life, it's time to seek professional help. Speak to your GP and a mental health professional.
You are welcome to contact me on email henriette@thegoodexpatlife.com or check out my website to read more about me and how I can help you on https://www.thegoodexpatlife.com/.
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